Thursday, July 18, 2013

Please understand, everybody !

Hai and assalamualaikum, salam ramadhan yang ke-9. Sudah 9 Ramadhan berlalu. Sudahkah kita mempersiapkan diri kita bekalan dunia dan akhirat? Alhamdulillah, jika ada yang masih fikir, ada yang kurang. Marilah kita bersama-sama memperkukuhkan dan mendekatkan diri kita kepada-Nya, sesungguhnya, pada Allah s.w.t kita kembali.

I am a bit upset yesterday. I don’t know, somehow I feel like people do not understand what I want. However, I know that they do not understand me as well. But what to do, people still people. Society still society. They can’t never stop being such judgmental person. Aku menangis seorang diri, dan bertanya pada Allah s.w.t, adakah ini dugaan yang Allah s.w.t beri padaku? Geez~.
Why. Why. Why you keep asking me why I rejected that job that I do not like? Though the pay is quite high, where I can get per month around RM2800 – RM4000, still, I do not consider working as a site supervisor will make me happy.

Ya,

she’s getting on her nerve. She said she doesn’t know how she wants to help me anymore. THEN, STOP HELPING ME in finding me a job!

I know its for the sake of  “working experience”, I also know masa berlalu, hari berganti hari, minggu berganti minggu, bulan berganti bulan, and it’s already 2 months I am officially unemployed. Is that “long” ? I have working experience. People said it’s just an internship period. But you do not know and what to be expected what knowledge and skills, yet aptitude that I got.

Please understand me. Appreciate the time that I am being with you. Because once I got my job, and Allah s.w.t beri rezeki yang kita tak kan duga, you’re going to miss me.

I always have my trust and faith to Allah s.w.t. I never regret for what I rejected. Because Allah s.w.t already gave me the ‘guidance’ why I reject that job. Only between me and Allah s..w.t. But, people will still be people. Tak pernah faham. Apa yang mereka tahu, kerja kerja and kerja. Find more experience. Generate more money. But, this is my life. Aku pilih kebahagiaan. I want a quality of life. I love the ‘feminine’ culture.
For me, pekerjaan adalah sebahagian daripada kehidupan. That is why aku demand. I know, tak sesuai zaman kini. I am not that stupid to think. But semua orang ada prinsip tersendiri. Aku tak hendak kerja with someone yang not even look or appreciate all your qualifications, yang mana, kau berusaha untuk memiliki ilmu tersebut. You make a PTPTN loan, but people yang nak hire aku, do not even touch it, and all they  claimed is, "

“I thought your sister yang nak apply this job, your mom bla bla bla”

I really do not enjoy the ‘cable’ thingy. Tak suka dapat kerja yang melibatkan orang-orang yang ku kenali. I really do not enjoy it.

I cried a lots. I even SMS Fero,

“Need to be alone”

And I cried all night, Alhamdulillah. Aku diberi tidur yang sangat lena sehingga pagi sahur tadi. Thank you Allah for a very good night. I owe you so many times. Perbaiki hubungan dengan Allah maka baiklah hubungan kamu sesama manusia. Aku harap aku diberi kekuatan untuk teruskan kehidupan ini. A lots of thing that you as readers can stop being judgmental because I never told everything in my blog. It is some parts that I need to keep.

Mom said,

“Never proud of your Degree”

I never proud of it. But I am demanding for the quality than quantity of working experience you ever got. Aku percaya, Allah s.w.t ada bersama ku setiap masa. Kesusahan dan kesenanganku, kalau Allah tak gerakkan hati hambaNya, manakan mereka hendak menolong kita, ye tak.

Mom also said,

“You just being so demanding”

Yes. I am very demanding since I was a kid. You know, I am fussy in everything. I love a perfect life. What people cannot see, I see it through my eyes and heart. I will get what I love, remember sepasang kasut merah? Daddy promised me to buy that red shoes if I read a book. I love to read. I read the book, and selepas aku habis membaca, daddy bought the red shoes at Parkson. I got my lovely shoes. That is me, totally me. I have a good taste in everything.

Well someone said sometimes I tend to be like Ustazah. Keep preaching people. That’s the fact. Bila dah baca buku, kita suka share. Sharing is caring. But what to do, maybe to some people it’s pretty annoying. Kalau menyampah, boleh blah.

Love,
El.