Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Working ? Maybe yes, maybe not.




I am not a workaholic for the time being, but I am a workaholic in the future, I can focus 101 % til I have headache then, I need 2-3 days on leave. Frankly speaking, I don't have enough experience in Civil Engineering field, but to be in there made me nervous and scared me to the fullest. YES, I can't meet tight deadline and pretend myself independent. I have to depends on others to ask, but they keep torturing me and saying heartless words. STUPID ! IDIOT ! or others word that similar to it will harm me. I have my industrial training for six months that was too long for me. I am working as an idiot, yes, I gained many experiences, but I am tired working til 9pm 2-3 times per week with allowances RM150 per month. Is that enough when at that time we having crisis 'fuel increased' ? YES, I still remembered RM2.70 per litre. OH OH, I am a student feel sick to go to the office everyday !  I am kinda PHOBIA to work, thought it was such a nightmare for me working with private company. My uncle always keep asking why I don't go to work, finding job ? And I said, I JUST DON'T WANT, besides I am not too desperate looking for a job. Yes, I admit in my sector need more experiences in order to be success in the future. But, I admit, I really don't want to work in this field ! YOU must feel weird why I choose Civil Engineering ? Well, I just want to learn  and gain more knowledge in this field. Its normal right ? Learn new things, but you work on other than that you've learned. I keep wondering what is my job in the future, then I close my eyes, and silent. Shh! Keep thinking deeply do, but I still can't find something that heal my phobia. I guess, men should and must have job to gain experiences because soon, they have their own life, manage to buy anything, and comfortable with what they have, finally, get married. They look independent to me, but if they're not working, they look awful. I try to be independent, but I can't stand with people who are BOSSY you know ? By the way, working ? maybe yes, maybe not ! I have to think for many times. HAHA.